i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
