he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize