i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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