You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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