So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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