Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
