see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
