She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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