This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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