so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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