at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
