its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
