Is it normal to miss your booty call?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it was like eating out sand paper
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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