she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
