Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
