i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Someone came in the potted fern
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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