I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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