"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
