That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
