i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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