Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i need some magic done to my vagina
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
