Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
