her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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