I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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