Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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