Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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