It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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