I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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