next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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