the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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