I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We need a shit load of segways right now
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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