so let's talk penis.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
