Do you still have your period?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize