Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
