do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he shaved USA in his pubs
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
