I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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