How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
