drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
