dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
