But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
