i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
