im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
