I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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