SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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