I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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