I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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