So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
