If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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