I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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