yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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