Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
