I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
