Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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