No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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