Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
