I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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