I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
