remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
