I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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