He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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