There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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