My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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