You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
