did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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