New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
