I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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