Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
