i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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