As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
