a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
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