Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
