Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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