I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Are we still banned from the library?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
