just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
