I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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