used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
