didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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