I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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