Plan B is the new Plan A
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
