Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize