found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
