Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
