JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Randomize
